January Can Be a Fresh Start… But What If It’s Not?
You know the message, we hear it everywhere we go every December and January. This is the time to reset: start a new habit, take on a new mindset, be a new you! But for many people, January doesn’t feel like a fresh start at all. For many, it can feel heavy, anticlimactic, or exhausting.
If you find yourself wondering why you aren’t feeling more motivated right now or worrying that there is something wrong with you for not wanting to dive in to a Whole New You!, you are not alone. You are not failing at New Year’s resolutions – you’re not failing at anything. In fact, the expectation that January is a time to reset and should feel energizing can do more harm than good for many people.
Why January Can Feel Especially Hard
From a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) standpoint, January often amplifies unhelpful thinking patterns. Some examples:
- “Should” statements: I should feel grateful. I should be excited. I should be doing more.
- All-or-nothing thinking: If I didn’t start on January 1st, I’ve already blown it.
- Mental filtering: Focusing on what didn’t happen last year while ignoring what did.
Take these thought traps and add in some real variables that we know affect mood and motivation, including:
- Shorter daylight hours and disrupted sleep
- Financial or social stress from the holidays
- A sudden loss of structure after a busy season
If you experience low motivation in January, it is not a personal flaw but rather a pretty common – and predictable – human response.
The Myth of the “Fresh Start” Motivation
Many people believe that motivation must come before action. Have you ever told yourself you’ll start working out next week when you think you’ll have more motivation to do it? In reality, behavioral science research consistently shows that the opposite is usually true; action often precedes motivation. Taking the first step – even if it’s a baby step – can actually lead to an increase in motivation to do more where as waiting to feel ready can quietly reinforce avoidance. From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) perspective, this makes sense. We naturally want to act when things feel easier but the reality is that meaningful change rarely begins in moments of clarity or inspiration. Instead, it begins in ordinary, sometimes even uncomfortable moments.
Maybe It’s Time to Find a Different Way to Think About This Time of Year
Instead of asking yourself, “How will I reinvent myself this January?” try a more realistic question that is easier to answer. Try asking yourself “What is one small action I can take even if my motivation is low?” In ACT therapy, we spend a lot of time identifying your values and values-based actions. For the New Year, try choosing behaviors that align with what matters to you not with what your mood dictates or what you believe other people think you should do. What does this look like in action? Here are some examples:
- Going for a short walk, not because you feel energized but because health matters to you
- Reaching out to at least one person in your support system, even if you feel socially withdrawn
- Returning to a routine you abandoned without self-punishment or self-criticism for having abandoned it
Note that none of these examples emphasize the “clean slate” mentality that is so prevalent this time of year.
Love Thyself: When Self-Compassion Is More Helpful Than Self-Improvement
If you tend to judge yourself or criticize yourself, you should know that CBT research consistently shows that self-criticism reduces behavior change. Similarly, research shows that self-compassion can lead to an increase in persistence. If your internal dialogue sounds like a bad performance review (“I wasted last year” or “I should be further along by now”), that voice is unlikely to move you forward. It can be more effective to take a curious approach by asking yourself some questions about last year:
- What made change hard last year?
- What support was missing?
- What expectations were unrealistic?
The Bottom Line: You Don’t Need a Full Reset to Move Forward
January can be meaningful without representing a fresh start. You are allowed to carry unfinished goals, mixed emotions, and lingering fatigue into the new year. You’re even allowed to let go of goals and expectations that aren’t serving you. Progress rarely about dramatic transformation. It is more often about:
- Re-engaging after pauses, no matter how long the pause was
- Acting in line with your values, even if it’s uncomfortable
- Letting go of the idea that change must feel good to be good
If this season feels quieter, slower, or heavier than expected, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It may simply mean you’re human.
Looking for Support?
If you find that pressure around motivation, productivity, or self-criticism is affecting your mental health, working with a therapist trained in CBT or ACT can help you develop a more flexible, sustainable relationship with change – in January or any time of year! Contact me to learn more.
